a view from our apt on mora kai lane
the beautiful sunset in huntington beach
july 14th, 2007 is a day i'll prob never forget. it's the day we left our beloved huntington beach and moved to az. i know that sounds so dramatic, but for me that's exactly how i felt/feel. it's a good thing i'm in a better place today than last week because i was literally feeling BUMMED out to say the least. i'm always a bit sad when i come back after leaving ca. i miss my fam, my friends, the beach, the parks, just about everything. and then i come back to az and sometimes i seriously feel so alone it's painful. i'm in no means trying to get any sympathy this is my own issue, but i'm hoping one day i'll look back at how i felt/feel and will laugh or something. most the time when people ask me how i like az, i'm quick to say "it's ok", but if you know me a little better i'll say "it's hard, and it's one of the hardest things i've gone thru". dramatic again i know. i was actually crying (to put it lightly) the other day and telling my dad how sad i was and how much i really don't like it here and how the 3-5 yr plan that bren talks about prob isn't too realistic (esp since he's gonna start up his own practice one day soon). so it just feels like a nail in the coffin and i'm doomed to live here forever. k these again are just some thoughts that go thru my head (esp when i feel lonely). then i realized i needed to snap out of my woes and we got an invite to go to pizza night at the boswells and then a friend called and invited us to go to the pool and it's weird how things can happen like that to turn my attitude around too. i realize i'm not alone i have a wonderful husband and 2 awesome kids and i should be happy to be wherever they are and to go out of my MAJOR comfort zone more. it doesn't help too, that since it's crazy hot lots of people are out of town and so it feels more like a ghost town during the summer (which i remember from when we first moved here too). so i guess to say a year in review my attitude is a little better and i'm hoping to make this next year even better and try to find more things to enjoy about living here.
here are some of my pros:
-we are only 5 1/2 hours from ca (kinda joking, but seriously)
-bren only works about 15 or so minutes away
-i LOVE our house
-the gym has become one of my b.f's (my day never goes quite right w/o it)
-i've lost 50 lbs since we've lived here
-i've started to make some friends
-there are a bunch of fun pools to go too
-monsoon season is pretty cool
-i've never gone to target more in my life, love it! (that might be a con for bren)
-we've loved going to the zoo
so those are a few of my pros and hopefully next year there will just be more and more. random boring post for most, but i just wanted to put some of thoughts down, so i can remember what a freak i am/was!
18 comments:
I completely relate to your thoughts and feelings. Only, I am so jealous of all your OC trips and they are only a drive away. We are on the 5-10 year plan in Ohio so your 3-5 yr plan doesn't sound all that bad. We really want to get back West by the time our kids are in jr. high. The blogging world has kept me somewhat sane just being able to feel like I'm a part of my friends lives. I think your blog was the first I read so thanks for introducing me to the blogging world! It sounds like you have some fun friends in AZ so just think, it could be a lot worse!!
You are so cute! And seriously, 50 lbs? What did you do to lose all the weight, may I ask?
Anyway, I know you love Cali. It will always be your home. It will always define you. I don't know a single person who loves it more than you.
Good job trying to look at the pros and being positive.
Remember, nothing is permanent.
Love you, hang in there!
Rach! Love you. So glad you blog. I don't know if you knew that I read it every couple of weeks or so. I love the pics. I love the whole idea of it and I love "watching" you love to be a mom and wife. Anyway, add me to your long list of blogging friends...christensenhappenings.blogspot etc...I do know what you mean about AZ. For years I wanted to go home to Coeur d'Alene and then one day, it wasn't home anymore. Home was wherever me, james and the kidlets were. And like you, we found the fun places to do and see and make it ours.
Love you guys so much.
Betsy
I know, girl's are so much fun!! She is like my little barbie doll that I get to dress up and play with ha ha! Yes they did move! It's so cute and they are loving it!
I don't know what you're talking about, Rachael. You were born in Utah and grew up in Wyoming. JK. California misses you more than you miss it.
-Eric
rachael...love you! we miss you too! it'll get better. i'm so glad we get to see you so often. i can't wait to see you this week and got to the show!!
As much as you love California, I think your attitude is perfect for making life in AZ amazing too! You're always doing such fun things and making memories there. Um, and the 50 lbs... that's AWESOME!!! Tell me what you've done, please!
Thanks for being a supporting wife and wonderful mother.
AZ's got love for you and hopefully you'll soon have love for AZ.
I love you!
Rach -- you have such a great attitude. I think we all get stuck in those places (sometimes geographical, and sometimes just mental) and can't find our way out of them. You've already made such progress -- good luck. And you shouldn't have to wonder how much you are loved -- look at your comments so far!
rae you can take the girl out of cali but you can't take the cali out of the girl! i feel your pain. i feel like we just start to feel at home somewhere and we move again. this last move has been hardest because we want to endup in oregon so we thought we were there to stay just to leave again. way to try to stay positive! and way to go on 50 lbs lost! seriously that is awesome. let me know if you have thoughts on getting together this fall with the roomies. love you!
I'm right behind you lady!!!Can't believe it's been a year!!!! For real!!!!
This was such a sweet post. I love hearing your thoughts on moving. And I'm super impressed with your attitude. Even if you're hiding it....you've always seemed pretty positive to me (and that gives me good hope for my own adventure one day). And you're right, only you can try to make the situation improve and be positive about it all. I liked your pros and cons.
Glad you've made it one year!
You know I love ya girl and I'm glad you live here! We need to hang out more. Let's do a girls night when you get back from Cali. :) I'll tape SYTYCD so we can see you on TV. Make sure you text me where you are sitting. :)
Sorry!! I wish you were liking AZ more, but it's hard when you are from cali. I can totally understand! I'm originally from AZ, but I've been in cali for almost a decade and I am dreading the day we have to leave! Cheer up, I'm sure you will be looking back and laughing at all of this sooner than later! :) XOXOX
I'm so glad that you're feeling a little better about AZ. It's no Cali, but there are some great things about it. I have a little place in my heart for AZ......and I love Monson time too! We miss you guys and it's weird every time you go back to AZ, cause it never seems like you are going "home." But, good job having a good attitude and seeing the positives. And I love that you are only 5 1/2 hrs. away too!
It usually takes about 1 year to get used to a new place. Marcus's sister lives in Gilbert, and we love to visit. AZ's cool. Congrats on losing 50 pounds. Hopefully I will see you at a reunion?
I know it is hard. I REALLY want to stay in CA and think that it would be hard on me to live elsewhere. You never know though you could end up back!!
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